Therapist Unplugged is brought to you by The Montfort Group. Each episode will feature the unplugged views of guests and fellow therapists as we navigate hot topics, therapy trends and the world around us.
*The Montfort Group provides a serene, calming setting where you can feel challenged, supported, and motivated. Our skilled therapists bridge specialized backgrounds and varied philosophies together to create one unified strategy. Rather than steer you away from your own natural abilities, we help you maximize your unique strengths. We do not view a broken history as the end of a story, we see it as an opportunity for a new beginning.
Therapist Unplugged is brought to you by The Montfort Group. Each episode will feature the unplugged views of guests and fellow therapists as we navigate hot topics, therapy trends and the world around us.
*The Montfort Group provides a serene, calming setting where you can feel challenged, supported, and motivated. Our skilled therapists bridge specialized backgrounds and varied philosophies together to create one unified strategy. Rather than steer you away from your own natural abilities, we help you maximize your unique strengths. We do not view a broken history as the end of a story, we see it as an opportunity for a new beginning.
Awesome Hello everyone and welcome to the therapist unplugged. I am Laurie pool and today's special guest is my colleague Courtney stroll, licensed professional counselor. Courtney is a graduate of UT Austin go Longhorns and SMU where she obtained a Master's of Science in Counseling. She then went on to intern at SMU Center for Family Counseling, and provide a group counseling for high school teens, adolescents on the on the autism spectrum. And teens with eating disorders at the Center for eating disorders at Baylor hospital. Courtney joined the mop for group team in 2018. Welcome cord to your friend
Courtney Strull:podcast. Thanks, Laura. Happy to be here. slightly terrified. As I mentioned you,
Laurie Poole:that's okay. If you stumbled pause, and we'll just edit it out.
Courtney Strull:We're doing it we're doing the thing, not a problem.
Laurie Poole:So Courtney, today we are getting unplugged for some straight talk on teams. I know that this has become a niche for you. And based on your biography, it seems like right out right out of the barn door. You are working a lot with tweens, teens, maybe older teens, and this has continued to be a niche. These clients love you. And so to their parents, I gotta say. And so I'm wondering, if today maybe we can start with talking about what is a team because I know you were saying, you know, parents will come in and say hello, my kids being an asshole. And I don't know what to do. The stuff that used to work when they were younger children just isn't working anymore. They don't listen, they take their own time doing things, they can be a little obnoxious and disrespectful. And the outside world takes on a lot more importance for them than it used to. And that can be very confusing. So I thought maybe a good place to start for our to our straight talk on teens would be you know, what is adolescence? And what is this period all about? And are there not developmental tasks for teenagers? The way there are for little kids, you know, children will develop, they're crawling, they're walking their speech, that kind of thing. But teens have tasks too. And I think sometimes that gets lost.
Courtney Strull:Absolutely. And I'm this is one of my favorite topics, topics to talk about. Specifically because I think kids from such a young age, and I think identify kids is anything from age zero to 10. I think once we hit double digits, then we're talking adolescence. And that's when I have the parents that come in and say, I can't decide if my kids depressed or being an asshole. And that's that's just the plain truth is, it's super difficult for parents, when kids start to develop their identity, they start to explore and have their own values, is it oftentimes I get the parent who comes in and says I do this, this and this for my child, which is valid, by the way. But does that mean your kid can never have a complaint or disagree with you?
Laurie Poole:Right? Because they will?
Courtney Strull:Absolutely. They're developing an identity, they can explore the internet now, their friends talk. It's not everything that our parents taught us at this point, we're able to take in information from the world in a way that we weren't before.
Laurie Poole:That's right, exactly. You know, I think the other thing, and I do remember very well, the first time I had a teen when Nick turned 13 I thought testosterone is an evil drug, and it should lock because I don't know who this kid is sitting at the dining room table anymore.
Courtney Strull:And I'm surprised you could get him there. Again, well, listen,
Laurie Poole:I guess the food was pretty good. But, you know, we had a really, really rough ride a very rough ride. And there were things I learned, actually, in my studies at SMU that I thought God, I wish I had known then what I'm hearing now, because I wouldn't have taken things quite so personally. And there are when you talk about that identity, I often explain to parents that many adolescents, they they kind of star in their own movie, they think that they are the main character and whatever is happening to them is only happening to them and that the whole world is watching. And part of that you know is trying different identities which you can see reflected in perhaps the way they dress. The other students or friends they hang out with the kind of music they listen to. I remember when my son was in Got about 15 You know, the pants for all was below the underwear.
Courtney Strull:How'd you feel about that? Lt.
Laurie Poole:Well Oh, it's like watching a kid try to walk with a webbed crotch I
Courtney Strull:doesn't make the most logical sense, but I just think for him,
Laurie Poole:but that's what that's what he needed to do. So we just kind of rode that wave. But the the developmental tasks of learning how to regulate emotions, figure out who they are, distance themselves from family before they come back to family. Can you?
Courtney Strull:Yeah, so I actually love that you brought up. I think my favorite moment when you just said that whole piece was, it's like they're starring in their own movie when they're in middle school, high school. And it because it can be difficult for adults to understand, because we've been through some of these experiences. But something I always asked with parents is let's think about the concept of time when we were 10 1316. Compared to how it is now I blink and we're almost in 2022. Yeah, when I'm beyond i 35, South headed to Austin, three hours felt like 10 When I was in middle school, the classic Are we there yet? So truly, if we're talking about an adolescent brain, it makes sense why they feel that they are in this movie, because every they have not had the chance to experience these things yet. And additionally, their frontal lobe is not developed yet. Yeah, we should probably point
Laurie Poole:out that an adult brain doesn't fully develop till about the age of 25. Mm hmm. Absolutely. And so when you're dealing with a teenager or an adolescent, there are certain developmental tasks or developmental phases that haven't fully developed yet. Can we talk a little Courtney about emotional regulation, the outbursts, my life is over. The drama, the drama of what's happening with peer relationships, or the protests at home when parents try to set boundaries?
Courtney Strull:Yeah, I have another one of my favorite topics pedestals I like to stand on, especially when working with parents is that sometimes and I think back to my relationship with my parents in the arguments we would get in sometimes they think parents can be wasting their breath to get in these back and forth, teeter totters with their teenagers, because they don't have the capability to emotionally regulate. That does not mean they can't suffer consequences for being disrespectful, right? However, having the last word sometimes being a parent, and knowing, okay, I'm gonna walk away, because I understand that this is not going to be productive right now. Right? Whereas the 15 year old, can't do that yet.
Laurie Poole:One of this one of the tricks was really a trick. But the sense of urgency, teenagers, adolescents have a sense of urgency, almost about, I was gonna say almost about everything, but when they want something when they need something it's got to be right now. And one of the things I learned to say is, I need some time to think about that. Give me a moment, because I could find myself getting caught up in their sense of urgency, like I had to come up with a solution, or make a decision, right, right this minute. And their urgency didn't have to be mine. That was something that really, I think served me well over time, you'd have to ask my children now who are in their 30s. But it gave me space and grace, to regulate myself, because I think what happens is that when teens sort of spin out, parents start spinning out, and then before you know it, the whole family is spinning out because of something happening with one of the teenagers and it can be very hard at times to stay grounded as a parent.
Courtney Strull:Oh, absolutely. And I think too, that this is not just a struggle with teens, but adults too. I think about the emails I get from adults, requesting things I need this by tomorrow, when it's a Saturday, and I'm not seeing them until Wednesday. And as you know, I've had to check myself understand that I have time not to play into the anxiety. So some of it I think is learned, though I think it does. It is more prevalent for a team to feel like I need to fix this here now. can't recognize that like a wave in the ocean. It does and will fall. Not everything is as in your face. It is right now and it won't be in two days.
Laurie Poole:That's right. That's right. It's big now. But will it be 10 days from now? 10 weeks from now 10 months from now. But I think with teenagers, the sense of urgency, and I have no doubt that most parents listening to this podcast today Courtney have had that experience where Oh my God, I need this for homecoming. Wait a second, can we can we go to can we go to two? Oh my god at Kroger and you know, I have I have a bake sale, I have this, I have that. And you can see parents with their hair on fire
Courtney Strull:with their three other children that they are commitments to. And my kid forgot this Yes. And their jobs.
Laurie Poole:We know what's interesting is that from a family therapy perspective, families will come in often for the first time in family therapy when they have a teenager. Because adolescence can be so disruptive, depending on the person, not all teens are equally disruptive. But there are usually periods we can almost predict. And that's actually healthy. Because part of their developmental task is to figure out how they are different than or different from the family that they grew up in. That is part of why peers and outside social groups become so important to them, because they're learning how to figure that stuff out. So I think, you know, it's a very busy fraught time, but there are ways to get through it in, you know, with your sanity intact. One of the things that I found and I'd be interested in, in your thoughts on this, Courtney, because you deal with both parents and with teenagers, is to not take everything so personally, that would have boundary is sad. And there's lots of protests to understand that that boundaries are disruptive, that structure can be disruptive, but that what works for the whole family is usually when there's healthy boundaries set and maintained. I don't know, what are your thoughts about that?
Courtney Strull:I think privacy is so important. It's so difficult for parents to understand, I think a big age is 16, when your kid starts driving, and suddenly they're home less, they're wanting to spend more time with their friends, they get home, they go straight to their room, and you feel like you've done everything for them. And they want nothing to do with you. And I hate to say this, but it's kind of normal. Creating that independence, I say dissonance in the home junior and senior year, I almost think is what helps make the bird leaving the nest easier. You kind of can't wait for them to leave, they can't wait to go. It's not that there's not grief there too. But I do believe that dissonance exists for a reason. And it is a part of them learning who and what they want to be. And the hope is that they turn out to babies independent thriving adults in the world who are kind and successful emotionally, mentally, financially, if that's important to that person. Sure.
Laurie Poole:Sure. I you know, I was just looking over some some notes that we talked about. Can you speak to what you described as fear induced respect?
Courtney Strull:Absolutely. And I think when I think generationally, this is something that was absolutely more prevalent in former generations of, you know, I'm the adult. And this is what we're doing, because I say so not giving an explanation. But what I learned in my developmental courses is that predictability is important. From as early as 123, there's something called structured doll play, where you literally have kids like toys to help. And you replay the story for seven days straight before they go to preschool for the first time, so that when they leave mom or dad for the first time, it's not this full blown tantrum, they can kind of understand if we remind them of the dolls we've been playing with for the last seven days. So I say why don't we talk to teens about this? Anytime I'm talking to parents about consequences or curfews and what happens if you're late, I say, I don't want this rule to go into effect. And this just be something different than it was before. I want this to be communicated, even negotiated. Giving your child a voice to try and say, you know if you come up if your parents are reporting, okay, 11pm is when the phone has to be away as a junior in high school. If your kid can share their feelings and say what do you think of 1130 Maybe there's room for negotiation. Simply giving them a voice can change everything in your household. It makes me feel heard.
Laurie Poole:I think that is huge. Regardless of whether it's an adolescent and a parent, or a husband and a wife, or co workers in the workplace, I think most people really want to feel as though they're understood. And when you allow teens to contribute to the solution, when there's a problem, it seems to me there's greater potential for buy in. And they feel like they've played a role and as you say, had a voice. And if we can't give them a voice at home, where else are they going to find it? This is a great place for them to start practicing the speaking up, and contributing, not to be rude, but to be part of the solution. As opposed to all I'm the problem. I'm the disrupter. I'm the one that everybody in the family is talking about. I can't do anything, right, I get blamed. We hear that from teens. And so when they have an opportunity to speak up and contribute to the solution, whether it's a family meeting around the table, and people have a voice to say, this is what I think it should be mom and dad have the last say, but when when you can negotiate and talk, you're also providing skills that are going to serve them outside the home.
Courtney Strull:Absolutely. In their interpersonal relationships, I think the hope is that our kids do better than we do. interpersonally and just in the world in general, you know, we're talking about this. And I'm thinking of early development and choice giving kind of what we're talking about is negotiating, communicating with your teens, a lot of times teens come in, and they say, Yeah, I asked my parents to do this. And they just said no. And when I asked why they just said, because I said no. And that's kind of what I'm talking about is communicating how come? Yeah, and not just because I'm the adult, because even as an adult, that doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me. And that goes into that idea of fear induced respect. I personally don't want someone to respect me because they're scared. I want someone to respect me because I respect them. There's equal to me. So often, I'll have an adolescent sitting on the couch across from me and my therapist chair, and I will get out of the chair and I will sit on the ground at the coffee table where we're doing an activity and they're sitting on the couch because I have no issue being beneath them.
Laurie Poole:Yeah, it's not you're not looking to create a power play between the client who's maybe 16 and yourself. Something else you talked about, Courtney was setting kids up for failure. What are your thoughts about that for parents? Wow. Like, which is a big one. I know. It's a it's a huge topic. But it was something you brought up when we were preparing for things we would talk about during the podcast. And I wonder if this setting kids up for failure is also related to the way boundaries are set. Or where there's consequences for something?
Courtney Strull:Yeah. So this actually goes into the choice giving that I briefly mentioned before, and that's, you know, if we can offer children toy choices as early as three years old, you can choose to Gary Landreth that this and his Oreo cookie theory, this is where choice giving was created. He said to his daughter, you can have you can choose to have one Oreo cookie, or you can choose to have no Oreo cookies at all. And the kid can cry, they can scream. And that's their choice. They have to suffer the consequences of the choice they made not just because my parents said, you can't have any Oreo cookies, you're giving them power, which they've actually found. When we offer kids choices, they can make better decisions as they grow up. So when they get into the vehicle, Gary Landreth talks about this too, at 16 years old. They choose not to text and drive because they've learned to suffer consequences of their choices, not because my parents said you better not text and drive.
Laurie Poole:Makes sense. Makes sense. That ties into also not only the choices, but also then as they get older to be able to have a discussion about what those consequences are and what the choices will be. Right? Right as as part of a disciplinary action, for example, or behavior that needs to be corralled. Absolutely. Another piece that came up was about parental discomfort with children's emotions with their teens emotions, which can be really big,
Courtney Strull:huge, uncomfortable. slamming doors. Oh, yeah. I hate you. I want nothing to do with you. I can't wait to leave. Ah, yeah. Fonzie
Laurie Poole:pausing, yes, no, it's a big one. It's a big one because even in family therapy. I see it when a family comes in. with teens or young adults, like in their early 20s It can be very hard for parents to tolerate internally watching their son or daughter experience emotional pain, or feel depressed or go through a breakup. I mean, let's talk about romantic breakups during adolescence.
Courtney Strull:So funny you bring this up, any of my clients listening will be like she is told me this before. Yeah, so the classic example I give to parents is I ask, have you ever had a breakup? Lori? Did you ever have a breakup or go through heartbreak in high school?
Laurie Poole:Oh, my gosh, I was madly in love with someone who hardly saw me. So it wasn't really a breakup. It was it was feeling unseen. But I remember every day, my heart just aching waiting for this guy to notice me. Yeah.
Courtney Strull:And did you ever talk to your mom about it? No, never? Well, the common theme that I hear back from parents is if they've gone through a breakup, what did their parents say to them, and it's always something to the effect of, it gets better over time, you'll meet the right person, he or she is just not the one for you. And I turned to them. And I say did that make you feel any better during that time? And the response is always no. And I said, I say Hmm, it's interesting. Because what didn't work for us, we did our children. And it's because we're so uncomfortable seeing them in pain. And the other example I give is Laurie, if you fell in front of me right now, I would run to you and I'd say, oh, my gosh, Laurie, are you okay? Do we need to call a doctor in five minutes? I'd probably check in and be like, Are you sure your knee is okay? Whereas if a three year old fell in front of me right now, I would literally pick them up. I would tell them they're okay. Probably four times you're okay. You're okay. Because I would feel them crying. And I would grab them and ice pack? Yeah.
Laurie Poole:you raise a really, really interesting point, Courtney, because, yes, we do. We reach for what we experienced as children's and what we were children. And what we were told by our parents when we scraped a knee had a breakup. But we don't often hear about a parent sitting down. And I'm not, I'm not I'm trying not to paint with a really wide brush here. But I'm talking about skills and what we understand. When we try to offer comfort, it's like you're going to be fine. I know this is rough right now. But somebody better is going to come along and you're going to meet the right guy, which at that time, as you say isn't as helpful as a man, this is really hard right now. It just sucks. And you wonder how you're ever going to get yourself out of this bed. Because it's so heartbreaking. Tell me how you feel. Tell me all the things that you're feeling right now. I know I sound like a counselor, as I'm saying this. But I think that it is really important that we learn how to like acknowledge and respond and engage with our children and teenagers, particularly, that we can sit and be fully present with them without trying to rescue. But just to sit and reassure through our presence, and acknowledging the pain that they feel. Because they don't you talked about time earlier, Courtney, they don't know what the future is, like we're sitting here, you know, and we have the reassurance of experience in time. But an adolescent doesn't. That's all they know.
Courtney Strull:They don't get it. And it's not their fault. I remember High School felt like forever, each year got a little faster. College kind of felt the same. And then I got into adulthood. And I'm on autopilot, wondering where the last? I don't know, seven years went.
Laurie Poole:Exactly, exactly. So I think if we can practice that acknowledging, responding, engaging, being fully present, helping our kids to I say kids as offspring, because I don't care if they're 10 or 15, or 19. I think it's the same deal, what you're talking about, which is allow them to express them and encourage them to express how they feel. Which brings me sorry, go ahead.
Courtney Strull:I was gonna say that tug of war, you know, earlier, we were chatting about how it's extremely difficult for parents, when adolescents start to become independent begin to express themselves in ways that we don't recognize, and we wonder why they stopped telling us things and it's because they probably don't want to hear that it's okay, or it gets better with time. That's right. So let's practice I'm so sorry. Yeah, and sitting. If all else fails, just sit with them. That's right. You can't fix it. Only person who can fix it as Johnny who broke her heart.
Laurie Poole:You know the other part To Courtney's that kids have the right to struggle. If if they can't find their way through struggle, it's going to be really tough later on. And by by finding their way, I mean, sitting with the discomfort, we have a low tolerance for discomfort. Absolutely. As parents, it's heartbreaking to watch. And I know I, gosh, I remember going through similar things with my children, and it killed me. But you have to give them the right to struggle. And that's how they're going to learn. And when you instill the confidence that they're going to find their way out of this, and you're going to be right there with them. That's a huge gift. Shy slightly.
Courtney Strull:And I don't think people realize how deep this actually runs, you know, we're talking about pretty outward examples that exist for everyone. But society really plays into this idea of protecting children. And an example I can think of, we've probably chatted about this before, but one of my SMU professors mentioned a story about a third grader, she was having counseling and his dad had died. And when his dad died, everyone had said, I'm so sorry, your dad passed away. So sorry for your loss. So sorry, he's passed on. And that year, he actually passed the tax test or the STAR test, whatever it was, during that time, he flips back and forth. And when he passed the room, so excited, congratulations, you passed the tax test, you get to go into the fourth grade. He said, I don't want to go like I don't want to go. Teachers, parents, or what do you mean, you don't want to go? He said, I don't want to not see anyone I love ever again. It goes as deep as we can't even say I'm so sorry, your dad died. We have to shelter it as passed away. And it's not because it makes the kid uncomfortable. It's because it makes us uncomfortable.
Laurie Poole:That's right. That's right, exactly. This brings me to another important question. How do you know? Or what are the signs that parents should look for? When teens suffered depression, anxiety? Some some reason why they should probably seek out counseling. I think it can be hard because teens don't necessarily present with depression, for example, the way adults will. I'm wondering if we can give our listeners some information about what to watch for.
Courtney Strull:Yeah, and this is where it becomes scary, because regardless of it being an adolescent, you're right. It does present differently. But what's so important to remember is depression, anxiety, it presents differently for everyone. And sometimes the scariest ones. This the scariest people I've met with depression, or suicidality? Suicidal thoughts are the ones who seem to have at all. So you really have to be paying attention. But I think the big things to know, you know, often reports of teen is in the room all the time. Okay, that's an isolated thing. What else is going on? What are the grades look like? Are they persistent with what it's looked like throughout time? Or do we have sudden drops in grades? What's hygiene? I can't tell you how many parents I've had come in, and I find out they're in the room all the time. That's pretty much all I know. And then I get to meet the kid. And after a few sessions, I start to ask, how often are you showering? Maybe twice a week? That's a huge indication to me. Yes. How are we brushing our teeth? You know, not having the motivation to go to school? Again, differences in their social behavior? Are they isolating from friends, and I, you know, some people are more into the internet and online friends. And that might have been something that was normal for them throughout time. But it's also super important to get that social interaction in person.
Laurie Poole:Right? So I think what you're saying is, when there's a change in baseline behavior, when there's a change in baseline habits or routines, if there's changes in eating patterns, sleep patterns, really tough to get out of bed more than normal, because we know that teens have a different, you know, circadian rhythm or whatever it is, right? They'll stay up late and they sleep in that's normal team behavior. But when you notice, changes, a teen who likes to spend a lot of time in their room, but is spending exponentially more time in their room. Those kinds of things, then it's worth being curious. You have to be curious and and see, is this something to worry about? Is there something else going on? But you're quite right when you see changes in grades and what is what you understand to be their normal behavior, or routine, then it's worth checking out and asking what's going on?
Courtney Strull:Yeah, absolutely. Eating habits. Also something really important to mention and I know it's difficult because your kids are gone a lot of the time. So you don't know if they're necessarily eating at school. Rule. Yeah, absolutely all things that need to be looked into. And I think so often parents become scared of their children, you know, especially if they've had depressive like symptoms, I hear that a lot of kids who have suffered with depression or are currently suffering with depression, parents are afraid to give consequences, they're afraid to say you need to come out of your room. But the truth is, is that, again, kids don't have the brain development to make these conscious choices. So if you have someone who's suffering from major depressive disorder, it is extremely difficult for them to get out of bed. But it is imperative that they get out, they walk for 10 minutes, walk down a block, doing an opposite action to what they're usually doing, right? Even if it creates a fight in the household, it is not your job to be their friend, it is your job to be their parent, and sometimes they're not gonna like you. And that's okay. What I can tell you is they'll appreciate you in the end.
Laurie Poole:Well, they may, they may not like you, but they will love you, for 100%. And they can't, you know, you can't find the comb when it's in your hair. So when you're in the middle of a situation like that, I think, and correct me if I'm wrong, Courtney, in your experience, but when you have teens who are suffering from high levels of anxiety, or major depressive disorder, or even the grief of a breakup that's really knocked them down, knowing that someone else can provide some structure and calmly say, Hey, this is what we're doing today. I know you don't feel like it. But this is what we're going to do today. And then you can do what you want someone else who will take charge can actually be quite comforting. And I when I say take take charge, I don't mean in a drill sergeant fashion, but just what you've described, we're going to go for a walk today. 10 minutes, that's all I need 10 minutes, and we're going to do it. And yes, you know, that's part of, of learning life skills, and how to help themselves and so on. But they need to know that somebody is in charge when they feel like they might be able to control.
Courtney Strull:Right, because development mentally they they can't, you know, I think about me as a teenager, and I was on my phone all the time, it was hard to get off Snapchat, like the classic, my parents saying you're addicted to your phone. So I do think there needs to be boundaries around these things. I think it's okay for most kids, let's say, in 10th grade, your phone goes up at 1030 and 11th grade, your phone goes at 11/12 grade, maybe that's when they get to start making the choice for themselves. I do think it's appropriate to have these conversations with your kids to cut off the internet at those times, because having adequate sleep is a huge factor. That's one of the first things I asked about when I get someone who's depressed sitting on the couch in my office. And one of the first things to go. And teens are like, Oh, I can't believe you're having my parents do this. And three weeks later, they're like I can sky is blue again. Because I couldn't make the choice to put my phone away at night. And I remember laying in bed on my phone all the time. And now if I wake up in the middle of the night, I have an alarm clock that I sit up and look at instead of activating the light on my phone, because I understand that not getting the appropriate sleep for me. It doesn't just mess up tomorrow, it makes the rest of the week more difficult.
Laurie Poole:Absolutely. Absolutely. Can you share with our listeners how you work with teens and parents? Because I know you don't work with teens in isolation. Parents are part of the process as well. Can you just take us quickly through sort of how you work with both groups?
Courtney Strull:Yeah, absolutely. So if it's a younger adolescent, obviously, I'm probably gonna see the parent a little bit more often than maybe a 16 or 17 year olds, I kind of get parents idea about what their involvement is and what they would like it to be for 16 and 17 year olds, a lot of times the 16 and 17 year olds are the ones wanting to go to therapy, not just being placed on couch saying, fix this, right? Though they're the a few of them that really 15 and younger is when I say, you know, I'll have the initial assessment with parents, I'll see the kid for three or four sessions, depending on whatever it is they have going on. I can see the parent in three sessions or four sessions. And sometimes it's just a kid who wants to get counseling and I think that's really cool. We so often talk about physical health going to the gym four or five days a week, we think that exercise the mind. You have to be in crisis.
Laurie Poole:That's right. People think their their hair has to be on fire or the more that there is, well, we don't really have a problem. You don't have to have a problem to come into therapy. It can be a place where you had a few tools to your belt and Bob's your uncle and away you go. It doesn't have to be a huge crisis. but often that's what happens when folks come in. It's because there is a crisis. And I think particularly with teens and parents, parents is particularly with that first child. That's a whole. It's a whole new world when you're parenting a teen. And I think it's wonderful that parents have someone like you, Courtney to consult with and to also get grounded about how they can communicate with their team to reassure to normalize. And to to coach.
Courtney Strull:Absolutely. I think, yeah, that's like, you know, when you asked me earlier, I think that's a huge part of me involving parents is, I recognize it's not just the kid who's sitting on the couch, but I see them for an hour a week, and I can give them coping skills, I can help rewire things in their brain by the discussions that we have. But so much has to change at home.
Laurie Poole:That's right. Because they're the most that teen is part of the family system. They not they're not growing up in isolation. It's a whole family system. And parents are at the top of that system. Yes, sir. No, it's really important to get them involved. Courtney, this has been wonderful. I hope our listeners have come away from this podcast, having some helpful tips. And also to know that what they're experiencing at home, you know, is normal and and when it's not, we're there we are here we are here and and folks can reach out to us at the mop for group.com. And we'd be happy to to answer any questions, suggestions, and they can schedule right online. So Courtney, thank you so much for your time today. This was really fun. Are you seeing so P Are you still feeling nervous?
Courtney Strull:Are you not at all? I can't wait to do the next one.
Laurie Poole:All right. Well, thanks so much for joining me today. It's really been fun.
Courtney Strull:Thank you. We'll see you Monday.
Laurie Poole:Okay.